By Jessica Barrett, MA, MFT
It is so exciting to me to have the opportunity to redefine KOUGER. Why? Because the current ‘take’ is so limited! Up until now the concept of “cougar” has been a beautiful and sexy woman
who has remained beautiful and sexy as she aged ---no easy task mind you and certainly nothing to downplay---- but oh so limiting when we look at the big picture. Why? Because today’s
women--- from their younger years through their seasoned years --have so many more dimensions than a pretty face and sensuality. It just begs to be redefined.
When I think of a woman I would call a Kougar, I think of someone who has a lot of energy. She has the energy of a much younger person not only socially but also to be productive, successful and dynamic. This lady generates that energy from many different sources. First of all she is just plain physically active—whether that’s working out or ‘running’ from one activity to another, being lazy or complacent is just NOT her style. She is without a doubt kinetic --- constantly moving internally and externally --towards improving things around her. Seeing what can and needs to be done seems ‘automatic’ because she flows easily from one project or task to another without question or lament. Getting things done is one of her great joys in life. This Kouger brings meaning to her life by seeing where she can make a difference and leave her mark--- whether or not it ends up with her name in lights!
Kougers are known for their ability to assess their options and be optimistic because they focus on what can be done – not what is limited or not possible. In many ways these ARE the true examples of extraordinary women who have the ability to challenge themselves, and the resilient spirit to push through and overcome obstacles.
And what strong and determined spirit would be anything less than uncompromising. That doesn’t mean controlling or demanding – it means not allowing herself, her values, or her purpose to be compromised when she knows she is on the path of the greater good. This Kouger has learned to set boundaries, priorities, and focus. She embodies the EVERYWOMAN whether she is a career woman, housewife, civic leader, or balancing all three.
For this Kougar, The intrinsic rewards from sharing her time, energy, and talents greatly outweigh any desire or need for fame, fortune, or power --- yet in that humility is a powerful core of a human being who can handle that too. Without a doubt our Kouger is eclectic by nature. It is her keen eye and instincts that draw people to observe her continued successes and be fascinated by her ability to define her own style. She is a genius of time and energy management. Most important in this challenging world, this Kougar is resilient. It IS about being buoyant – having the strength and fortitude to stay directed in the face of temporary obstacles and being able to see them as challenges.
Chances are you have seen yourself along the way in these candid descriptions and are excited too to be able to be recognized and valued in a new way. We look forward to your personal success stories becoming a part of our ritual here to continue empowering women of all ages!
JESSICA BARRETT, MA, MFT
Jessica Barrett is a licensed psychotherapist who has worked as a family therapist and with people from 5 years old to 85. Before entering private practice, Jessica worked with MA students at Phillips Graduate Institute supervising and teaching workshops on working with adolescents, couples therapy, and structured separation counselling. Featured in Who's Who, she has done radio interviews and consulted with EAP programs at NBC, Texaco, and Lockheed.